Top 12 Pellegrino Artusi quotes on cooking, dining and ... life?

In his "La scienza in cucina e l'arte di mangiare bene" (1891)Pellegrino Artusi includes hundreds of recipes, as well as plenty of advice for new cooks and interesting thoughts on a balanced diet. Sometimes, he includes interesting comments or general observations. Many of these remarks are hilarious and/or absurd. Here are our favourites:

Cooking is a troublesome sprite. Often it may drive you to despair. Yet it [is] also very rewarding, for when you do succeed, or overcome a difficulty in doing so, you feel the satisfaction of great triumph. (p. 7)

If you do not aspire to become a premier cook, you need not have been born with a pan on your head to become a good one. (p. 7)

Damned minestrone! You will never fool me again. (p.65)

Rice! Behold the fattening food that the Turks feed to their women, so that they will develop, as a celebrated and well-known professor would say, sumptuous adipose cushions. (p.87)

No, it cannot be denied that the French are clever in everything! (p. 115)

The best sauce you can offer your guests is a happy expression on your face and heartfelt hospitality. (p. 117)

These are not to my taste, so I would just as soon let the peasants eat them. (p. 236)

Do not think for a moment that I would be so pretentious as to tell you how to make meatballs. This is a dish that everyone knows how to make, beginning with the jackass, which was perhaps the first to provide the model for the meatball for the human race. (p. 238)

Dear Mr. Meat Loaf, please come forward, do not be shy. I want to introduce you to my readers. I know that you are modest and humble, because, given your background, you feel inferior to many others. But take heart and do not doubt that with a few words in your favor you shall find someone who wants to taste you and who might even reward you with a smile. (p. 239)

All members of the cabbage family, be they white, red, yellow or green, are children or stepchildren of Aeolus, god of the winds. (p.312)

If I knew who invented the oven, I should like to erect a monument to him at my own expense. In this age of monument mania, I think he would deserve it more than anyone else. (p. 368)

Life has two principal functions: nourishment and the propagation of the species. Those who turn their minds to these two needs of existence, who study them and suggest practices whereby they might best be satisfied, make life less gloomy and benefit humanity. (p. 9)